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Tomorrow is the Big Day…

Whereupon my capstone is officially completed and out of my hands.

Technically, it’s tonight, but I have this rule about not acknowledging the day until I’ve gotten up and I haven’t been to bed yet tonight. As I will most likely not go to bed, it will be Tuesday night for a couple days.

I was late to class on Monday and missed the prof by five minutes (in my defense, class is 2 1/2 hours long and I was only 45 minutes late, so I was in class longer than he was). What I missed was the declaration that we’re going to have a group photo taken as some sort of BS reminder of the hell we went through. The class was instructed to dress nicely, which means “not what most of you wear to class.” 

Apparently, the response one of my friends made to the “no shorts” rule was “fuck you, I’ll wear shorts if I want.” 

Another friend said I have to wear a dress, to which I responded with hearty laughter. Then I said I’d compromise and wear my finest wig. It was determined that my pink curly wig would be the most appropriate. 

I jokingly told them if I got 200 Tumblr followers by the time class rolled around, I’d also show up in a frilly pink and lavender skirt. They didn’t know what Tumblr was. That’s okay because the last time I wore anything resembling a dress was 2006 and I only did it because I was getting married and I didn’t have any nice pants. 

It’s the final countdown

Last week of the capstone. In the meantime, I got my syllabus for next week’s new term (I’m on the “perpetual student loan deferment plan”). 

Required Course Materials:

  • Your text book – see below,

  • MS Office Professional 2010 (or earlier version)

  • Student files (see instructions above)

  • Computer with basic system requirements (Pentium or higher system and 28.8 or higher speed modem connection.)

  • Microsoft Office XP or higher on a Windows operating system or comparable Mac system, and

  • an Internet Service Provider (ISP)

Omg dudes! No way I’m gonna be able to do this class! Like, my modem is only a 14.4 and my dad only just bought a 486 because he won a bet that Dukakis was gonna lose. Crap, I’m gonna have to ramp up my typing lessons with Mavis Beacon too!

fuquerie:

I’m getting wrong number texts in Chinese. I don’t speak Chinese, so I did my best with Google translate. So far, there has been no further response, so I’m hoping my last message made enough sense to clue in whoever it is. I still don’t know what’s going on. Either someone is having an affair or someone is dead. Or aliens, I dunno.

I’m still getting text messages from this number. This was the latest. I still have no idea what’s going on.

Guess what I’m watching

fuquerie:

One of my favorite hobbies is to describe what I’m currently watching to people who have no context for it. There’s no point to this hobby, but I enjoy it.

So from the following description, what am I watching?

There’s a ghost walrus dancing while skeletons drink themselves to death at the bar and their souls ascend to heaven. Then ghost prisoners get executed while a mama cat gives birth and the kittens suck her dry as they grow grow gigantic.

Close, it was “Minnie the Moocher.”

I grew up on 1930s cartoons. Once my spouse watched a few of my childhood staples, he said “No wonder you didn’t think Forbidden Zone was all that weird.”

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